Cuts the Deepest
by Keiishi-san
Summary: Yui and the dark moments before a decision.


**Cuts the Deepest**   


She's taking a walk in the garden._ It's a lovely thing to do_, she thinks, _it sounds like such a cultured thing to do_. Gardens are places of beauty and goodness. She's read about the Christian Eden and thinks this place would be a fine match for it. For now, even though it's there in the back of her head, she won't let herself remember that Eden was lost eventually. Lost because Eve was weak and she's not sure if she means herself or Miaka with that. 

_You're Eve_, a voice whispers. _Weak and shamed. That girl made a decision and it was the right one. She's still in Eden. You're alone here on Earth_…A deep, masculine voice that sounds so certain, so right, that she can't pull herself away. _You trusted, you fell down._

She has to leave the garden or she'll start crying again, remembering how she was brought low. 

*** 

The silk feels good on her skin. It's better than her school uniform, she decides, and goes to work. Soon the dress of Eden is placed carefully away and she's become mortal. The many layers of cloth drag her down. She's covered decently like the lady, the princess, the adored one the people want to make her. There's a large mirror in her room and she stands in front of it. She lifts her arms and spreads them wide, then turn slowly around. She bows and curtsies, a smile on her face. Blue and silver in candlelight and faint moonlight from the windows. The sight is so strange she giggles. She wasn't meant to be a pretty princess like this but she likes it. Likes the worshipful crowds she sees in the mirror, respectful soldiers in their armour, golden shining knight kneeling at her feet. 

_Adored._

She stands there, regal and wise, in front of thousands. She sees their joyous faces as they gather to worship the priestess… 

_…of Seiryuu. Suzaku._

_Suzaku!_

She sobs as the mirror cracks and becomes a spider's web. The people, they're gone, their love isn't there for her anymore. Her love isn't there anymore. _Abandoned, abandoned_, her mind chants. _Miaka, Miaka._

There's tears in her eyes and she can't see. She hears, oh, she hears only too well. 

_"We'll be best friends forever, Yui! You know it!"_

_Footsteps behind her. She walks a little faster now._

_"We'll go to high school together! Yui, won't it be fun?"_

_Running, her feet and heavier ones and they're getting closer._

_"Miaka! Please! Bring me back!"_

She stumbles and grips the edge of the table so she won't fall down. There's pieces of jewellery there, given to her, a comb, little things. But she doesn't want to feel small. 

Where there's a table there's a chair. She grabs hold of and with a scream and strength she didn't know she had she throws it. The mirror shatters for good now, no mocking faces there, a spider's web for real. She walks to it and kneels down, numbly, and catches hold of a web-piece. 

Dizzy, faint, the room is spinning and she can't see. She hears still, and that's why she grips the shard tightly and strikes. 

*** 

Eyes open. She's not surprised. She has to pay for her mistake and she can't do that if she can't breathe, if she has no heartbeat. 

At least there are no more voices. She's weak but she sees now, and that is preferable to the other option. In a great bed, a silk gown, her wrist wrapped in white. Shades of red in the room so she knows it's morning, but have there been other mornings she hasn't noticed? 

Footsteps again, but these don't frighten her. She's learned to recognize them. 

An added weight on the bed and she looks up at her sun. His golden perfect beauty makes her shiver and blush. She's never seen anyone like him and it's thrilling to have him pay such attention to her. It's frightening too because even though he barely ever touches her and never in a way that's not proper he's still so clearly masculine that memories come and make her curl in a corner sobbing. But she thinks, maybe, some day she won't fear him. He's her armoured angel, here to fight all who'd hurt her and bring them to their knees, begging before her. _An angel_, a young girl's voice whispers brightly and she can almost see the frown that slowly comes to that sweet face. _Wasn't Lucifer one of them once?_

She drives her away, kicks her, banishes her. Earth is her domain and she will have no other queen here. 

"Lady." 

He takes her hand in his. 

"Lady, she has left you. She won't come back. It grieves me to speak so of one you hold close to your heart, but I cannot watch you suffer when the fault is not yours. Believe me," and the sun turns to her and she feels blessed-warm-adored again, "you know I serve you truly. " A hand strokes her cheek gently. "Believe." 

She does. 

*******

**Author's notes**: I feel like posting my fiction again. This is my first Yui POV. Lately I've grown more fond of her. She's flawed and makes mistakes but she's suffered too, at a very young age. No wonder she can't cope with all that happens around and turns to Nakago who lets her keep seeing things in black and white and doesn't force her to grow up painfully. This piece may be a little chaotic but that was intentional as I don't believe Yui was acting rationally in those early months in Kutou. 

On the Christianity references: Yui was a very good student. I find it likely that she'd have researched a religion that has influenced the West so greatly and would remember the basics of the most famous stories there. 

Oh…feed the author. Please?   



End file.
